I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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