I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
