I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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