Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
