he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
