I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
