i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Randomize
