i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
