i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
