I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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