After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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