the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.