I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
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What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box