yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement