i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
