I don't remember. Are we still dating?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
