you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
