I CAN MOONWALK!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
