We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
