I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
