Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
