god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize