so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
