nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
