would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
