If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
