Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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