I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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