Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
