You work out of a Hotel?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
