We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
