at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
