Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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