I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
