Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize