Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
