Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
