Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize