Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
