ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
