I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
