Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
