He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
