I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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