dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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