I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need to align my fucking chakras
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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