That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
