The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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