honey bunches of taint.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
