I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
