Don't you send me to vm
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
