Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
