You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
