problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Randomize
