He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
only you would photoshop your dick
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
