her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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