You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
