so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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