u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
