FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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