Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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