Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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