she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
