What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
