i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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