did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was like having sex with a tree stump
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
