Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
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