I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
