it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
