i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize