Three words: puerto rican gang bang
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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