my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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