he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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