So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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