"it" just moved
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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