dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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