I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
