When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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