I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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