do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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