So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
